Fursa Sa'ida فرصة سعيدة

Literally "Happy chance," but it means "Nice to meet you" in Arabic. (I chose the name when I was living in Egypt.)

If you're looking for substance, there's a handy link called "Analysis" right down below, which I invite you to check out. The rest is shorter thoughts, humor, caps lock, and the occasional personal post. Ask me anything you like.

FYI, I co-blog a lot of pop culture, fangirly things with my dear CT over at 22drunkb. If you enjoy hilarity and flailing, head that way. ________

currentlythymoss replied to your post: “pitcherplant replied to your post: “pitcherplant replied to your post:…”:
omfg feelin the competitive performative suffering

it’s such a Thing. it is suuuuuch a thing. it happened in my high school too but it was far more nonsensical and self-imposed there. literally people would try to one-up each other on how little they’d slept the night before. TEENS.

on another note i just lost a follower and i’m sincerely amazed it’s just the one. SORRY EVERYONE. I DID NOT EXPECT THIS TO TURN INTO SUCH A CONVERSATION.

Oct 01
Oct 01
pitcherplant replied to your post: “pitcherplant replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt…”:
I mean the u of c trial by fire approach is not always the best (see: mental health of the entire university), but you’re expected to keep up, or at least not complain about how much work you have. EVERYONE has a shitton of work, dudes.

oh god yes, and the way it gets translated into this culture of competitive performative suffering is just completely fucked

(i remember third year there was a group of freshmen who PITCHED A TENT in the a-level and had a CLOCK GOING THAT SHOWED HOW LONG THEY’D BEEN THERE, like, first of all you are obnoxious asshats, but second of all THIS IS SO FUCKED UP WE’RE ALL SO FUCKED UP)

i mean i was a wreck by the time i graduated, there’s gotta be a slightly less extreme or at least more safety-net-inclusive way of teaching this lesson

but

but

it is a very important lesson, and i think on this front i am better prepared than literally everyone in my cohort except the two who have done graduate work before. 

Oct 01
Oct 01
iseulttoinjury replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no…”:
why… why would your professor “haze” you??

LIFE IS A MYSTERY

EVERYONE MUST STAND ALONE

Oct 01
Oct 01
pitcherplant replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no…”:
Oh god, the expectation of coddling, give me a goddamn break

THANK

you shoulda seen my high school, you would have burned it to the ground with everyone inside, there was SO MUCH begging for special dispensation or better grades after the fact

how i hated them

Sep 30
Sep 30
amalnahurriyeh replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no…”:
Not involved, but a uni professor/grad school survivor, & yes, high expectations in grad school are in part about learning to prioritize & choose. But I think this isn’t clear to most students. Faculty need to say it out loud more for the clueless.
Fair enough. I think I have UChicago privilege, lol, because that was definitely the attitude there. Sink or swim. (Probably also because I took a lot of grad-level classes)
I assume faculty don’t say it out loud because they don’t want their assignments to be the ones falling by the wayside, or something.
shesagift replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no…”:
YES. You are missing nothing. They are missing everything. Like breathing and relaxing and having a good time.

hahaha, this is a most excellent affirmation, thank you

My initial phrasing was more along the lines of “you have to blow some stuff off to survive” and literally her response was 

"Blow off? We can’t blow anything off."

ummmmmmm good luck with that, and also how have you made it this far in life feeling that way without becoming a miserable dried-up stick (because she’s not, she’s generally a cool chick)

Sep 30
Sep 30

…i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no our teachers are not ‘hazing’ us, this system just isn’t about what’s comfortable or possible for the students, part of what we’re here to learn is how to figure out what we need to do, what we want to do, and what we can choose not to do”

like

what, is this not obvious

the secret of life is that you can’t do everything and you have to blow some shit off to survive and i didn’t realize this was a secret????

is this like

i

what am i missing here

Sep 30
Sep 30

skeptikhaleesi:

womanzer:

"When you look back at the whole shaving of the head thing, what provoked you to do that?"

Get it, girl.
Sep 30

Posted on Wednesday October 1st 2014 at 12:26am. Its tags are listed below.

currentlythymoss replied to your post: “pitcherplant replied to your post: “pitcherplant replied to your post:…”:
omfg feelin the competitive performative suffering

it’s such a Thing. it is suuuuuch a thing. it happened in my high school too but it was far more nonsensical and self-imposed there. literally people would try to one-up each other on how little they’d slept the night before. TEENS.

on another note i just lost a follower and i’m sincerely amazed it’s just the one. SORRY EVERYONE. I DID NOT EXPECT THIS TO TURN INTO SUCH A CONVERSATION.

Posted on Wednesday October 1st 2014 at 12:22am. Its tags are listed below.

pitcherplant replied to your post: “pitcherplant replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt…”:
I mean the u of c trial by fire approach is not always the best (see: mental health of the entire university), but you’re expected to keep up, or at least not complain about how much work you have. EVERYONE has a shitton of work, dudes.

oh god yes, and the way it gets translated into this culture of competitive performative suffering is just completely fucked

(i remember third year there was a group of freshmen who PITCHED A TENT in the a-level and had a CLOCK GOING THAT SHOWED HOW LONG THEY’D BEEN THERE, like, first of all you are obnoxious asshats, but second of all THIS IS SO FUCKED UP WE’RE ALL SO FUCKED UP)

i mean i was a wreck by the time i graduated, there’s gotta be a slightly less extreme or at least more safety-net-inclusive way of teaching this lesson

but

but

it is a very important lesson, and i think on this front i am better prepared than literally everyone in my cohort except the two who have done graduate work before. 

iseulttoinjury replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no…”:
why… why would your professor “haze” you??

LIFE IS A MYSTERY

EVERYONE MUST STAND ALONE

Fursa Sa'ida فرصة سعيدة

Posted on Wednesday October 1st 2014 at 12:12am. Its tags are listed below.

http://fursasaida.tumblr.com/post/98858142453/i-think-i-literally-hurt-someones-feelings

beeandsquirrel:

fursasaida:

beeandsquirrel:

fursasaida:

…i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no our teachers are not ‘hazing’ us, this system just isn’t about what’s comfortable or possible for the students, part of what we’re here to learn is how to figure out what we need to do, what we want to do, and what we can choose…

No you’re right.  It’s Graduate School, you’re not there to get good grades or impress the professors, you’re there to get as much out of those professors as you want (or as little).  It’s a hard (and frankly weird) lesson to learn, many good students got “to the top” by doing their best to Impress Everyone.

That being said, I think I’ve had to relearn this lesson at least 5 times since I got to school… 

Possibly I learned this earlier than most because I have N E V E R been any good at motivating myself to do any schoolwork that I didn’t care about and wasn’t of major serious importance. So I have been doing this triage shit since, like, we got to middle school.

Like it wasn’t exactly fun or commendable, but I was blowing off large quantities of schoolwork pretty much from day one. Actually I remember being held after school in second grade because they were like “you have not turned in way too many things, you are staying in this room till you complete the following.” I was always a dirtbag and I learned to cope, I guess? And of course that itself was necessitated by the fact that I always went to really good schools that asked a lot of me (though I get the impression this girl did too, so idk if it’s a factor in this particular situation), which not everyone is able to do. Some people who go to less-good schools but are really good at academics never get overwhelmed enough that they have to learn this, probably.

Double edit: nevermind, this ain’t about me.  HOWEVER I will use this opportunity to post this image again, as it is how I feel about the Big Scary Exam I’m supposed to be studying for right now:

Beautiful. This is me also. I was going to write a paper tonight, but obviously that has not happened. (It’s fine, we can write it whenever we want to; this would have been a good week for it, but I’m not up against an actual deadline. I’m still toying with the idea of pulling an all-nighter and doing it, but that sounds…unpleasant.)

http://fursasaida.tumblr.com/post/98858142453/i-think-i-literally-hurt-someones-feelings

beeandsquirrel:

fursasaida:

beeandsquirrel:

fursasaida:

…i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no our teachers are not ‘hazing’ us, this system just isn’t about what’s comfortable or possible for the students, part of what we’re here to learn is how to figure out what we need to do, what we want to do, and what we can choose…

No you’re right.  It’s Graduate School, you’re not there to get good grades or impress the professors, you’re there to get as much out of those professors as you want (or as little).  It’s a hard (and frankly weird) lesson to learn, many good students got “to the top” by doing their best to Impress Everyone.

That being said, I think I’ve had to relearn this lesson at least 5 times since I got to school… 

Possibly I learned this earlier than most because I have N E V E R been any good at motivating myself to do any schoolwork that I didn’t care about and wasn’t of major serious importance. So I have been doing this triage shit since, like, we got to middle school.

Like it wasn’t exactly fun or commendable, but I was blowing off large quantities of schoolwork pretty much from day one. Actually I remember being held after school in second grade because they were like “you have not turned in way too many things, you are staying in this room till you complete the following.” I was always a dirtbag and I learned to cope, I guess? And of course that itself was necessitated by the fact that I always went to really good schools that asked a lot of me (though I get the impression this girl did too, so idk if it’s a factor in this particular situation), which not everyone is able to do. Some people who go to less-good schools but are really good at academics never get overwhelmed enough that they have to learn this, probably.

For me its really been a matter of taking agency over my learning.  I know this is stupid thing to have had to learn as late as college.  But until I got to about 70% through undergrad I was always trying to perform well (and not always succeeding) to please somebody else (usually my parents, sometimes Ms. S or Ms. L and I’ll let you figure our who those two are).  The reward wasnt really work well done, or knowledge gained, it was (frankly) a cookie/pat on the head.

And, like, the sad part is I didnt really realize this was what was happening.  I liked learning, I thought I was doing it for all the right reasons.  But in the end, I was doing it for the cookie.  Then the cookies ran out.

Oh, and EDIT: (and sorry this is turning into a wordy rant) I think some people (from a particular background anyway) get to grad level and their identity is so thoroughly wrapped up in their academic performance that when they can’t keep up they start lashing out at everything, often the institution, often themselves… I also feel ashamed that I actually had to learn, as an adult human, that I am not just my job, or my school, and “what I do.”

… If that sounds as entitled and awful as I think it does I’m really truly sorry… but in the interest, of, I dunno, full disclosure?

I don’t think it’s entitled so much as it’s American, or probably just middle-class American. (Which often brings with it entitlement but isn’t the same thing as this sentiment being entitled?) People who grow up like we did get the message constantly that you are what you do. When you are supposed to be worrying about building your resume at like age 15 it will fuck with your understanding of how to be a person. Add to that our general society’s inability to conceive of identity outside of accomplishment + consumption (i.e. I’m someone who went to a good school and likes punk rock, that is Who I Am) and yeah it’s hardly surprising that a lot of us learn this late.

But I still think this person was just, uh, way too far down that rabbit hole. Way, way far. idk like I can have some sympathy for it (obviously) but I still don’t get where in the everloving hell she could have gotten the word hazing. The fuck. I think that’s the part that truly mystifies me. NO ONE CARES ENOUGH TO VICTIMIZE YOU.

pitcherplant replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no…”:
Oh god, the expectation of coddling, give me a goddamn break

THANK

you shoulda seen my high school, you would have burned it to the ground with everyone inside, there was SO MUCH begging for special dispensation or better grades after the fact

how i hated them

http://fursasaida.tumblr.com/post/98858142453/i-think-i-literally-hurt-someones-feelings

beeandsquirrel:

fursasaida:

…i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no our teachers are not ‘hazing’ us, this system just isn’t about what’s comfortable or possible for the students, part of what we’re here to learn is how to figure out what we need to do, what we want to do, and what we can choose…

No you’re right.  It’s Graduate School, you’re not there to get good grades or impress the professors, you’re there to get as much out of those professors as you want (or as little).  It’s a hard (and frankly weird) lesson to learn, many good students got “to the top” by doing their best to Impress Everyone.

That being said, I think I’ve had to relearn this lesson at least 5 times since I got to school… 

Possibly I learned this earlier than most because I have N E V E R been any good at motivating myself to do any schoolwork that I didn’t care about and wasn’t of major serious importance. So I have been doing this triage shit since, like, we got to middle school.

Like it wasn’t exactly fun or commendable, but I was blowing off large quantities of schoolwork pretty much from day one. Actually I remember being held after school in second grade because they were like “you have not turned in way too many things, you are staying in this room till you complete the following.” I was always a dirtbag and I learned to cope, I guess? And of course that itself was necessitated by the fact that I always went to really good schools that asked a lot of me (though I get the impression this girl did too, so idk if it’s a factor in this particular situation), which not everyone is able to do. Some people who go to less-good schools but are really good at academics never get overwhelmed enough that they have to learn this, probably.

Posted on Tuesday September 30th 2014 at 11:12pm. Its tags are listed below.

amalnahurriyeh replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no…”:
Not involved, but a uni professor/grad school survivor, & yes, high expectations in grad school are in part about learning to prioritize & choose. But I think this isn’t clear to most students. Faculty need to say it out loud more for the clueless.
Fair enough. I think I have UChicago privilege, lol, because that was definitely the attitude there. Sink or swim. (Probably also because I took a lot of grad-level classes)
I assume faculty don’t say it out loud because they don’t want their assignments to be the ones falling by the wayside, or something.
shesagift replied to your post: “¦i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no…”:
YES. You are missing nothing. They are missing everything. Like breathing and relaxing and having a good time.

hahaha, this is a most excellent affirmation, thank you

My initial phrasing was more along the lines of “you have to blow some stuff off to survive” and literally her response was 

"Blow off? We can’t blow anything off."

ummmmmmm good luck with that, and also how have you made it this far in life feeling that way without becoming a miserable dried-up stick (because she’s not, she’s generally a cool chick)

…i think i literally hurt someone’s feelings because i was like “no our teachers are not ‘hazing’ us, this system just isn’t about what’s comfortable or possible for the students, part of what we’re here to learn is how to figure out what we need to do, what we want to do, and what we can choose not to do”

like

what, is this not obvious

the secret of life is that you can’t do everything and you have to blow some shit off to survive and i didn’t realize this was a secret????

is this like

i

what am i missing here

skeptikhaleesi:

womanzer:

"When you look back at the whole shaving of the head thing, what provoked you to do that?"

Get it, girl.